Taking a few moments to think about what went on a few nights ago. I can't lie to myself: one of the reasons I'm not drawing as much is those damn video games. Damn you, Ratchet & Clank! (a review of the Ratchet & Clank games for the PS3, coming soon.) But I was also spending a lot of time in front of this very computer (other than the last two weeks, of course) working on a 3rd script, the 2nd being The Voice and not being read at the moment.
3rd script is a parody and I belted out the outline in minutes yet had a rough time writing along with that outline. Losing the computer for two weeks didn't help (and before C2E2, so I was too busy to write even if I had time to get the computer fixed right away). I was allowed to borrow a laptop, work on scenes from what I could remember, and then continue when I got the computer and attempt to finish in two days.
I went back and rewrote a scene and I'm glad I did. It was the scene that got the biggest laughs during the reading. But I'm getting slightly ahead of myself here. It also gave me a little bit more energy. There was a lot of dialogue, a lot of exposition to remind fans of the property I was parodying who these characters were (or flat out tell those who had no idea who was who...who was who). There was even more exposition from the new characters I introduced to set up the plot. I also wrote in not one but TWO more scenes not in the outline, and they ended up being my favorite, showing the characters in ACTION and having a MOMENT between two characters I wasn't planning (and let them actually tear down the set during the scene! genius! **cough**).
I was still stuck, and the next two days were brutal, especially because the King Vermin HQ office was a mess and I had to rewire our network of computers and video game consoles and stuff like that. And then I spilled root beer on damn near everything as I was moving the wireless router around so that it would be close enough to provide some slack for the 25' cable that was wired to my wife's computer...hilarious. Time well spent as I still had roughly half my outline to finish.
Since I like to type, and I like to type a lot of people talking, I had already been at 30+ pages and I wasn't halfway done when I needed to get started again to finish. Ouch. Our successful scripts (the one that brought an audience) were short, like 17 to maybe 30 pages. There was a lot of singing in some of these. A lot of physical comedy.
I offer little of neither in this script. Talking kills energy, and it'll be 11pm when we hit the stage, so there's a lot of strikes against getting my brand of comedy/drama/plot produced again.
So, the readthrough, a mere 3+ hours after I finished typing. I sent the file to everyone and then said what I meant: Upon realization that I don't like this draft, I reserve the right, as it is my right, to delete this draft, and expect everyone who received it to do the same, as I would not allow this script to be produced. I assume a lot, by the way, such as that I'm that important to dictate what others can do with something once I give it to them. I assume incorrectly that they'll WANT to produce it. I assume that I'll have the power to tell them what they can and can't do.
But, that's me. I don't want to write a festering pile of crap. I was and still am pretty disappointed in what I wrote, especially the 2nd half. I'm completely aware, and don't need to hear, that I can shave it down, shave it down, cut this and that...I was aware of that the minute I was presented a blank screen I intended to fill with terrible sexual innuendo. I was disappointed with myself that I had something to say, and that that very thing became less interesting, and completely humorless, in comparison to the scenes I beefed up or added before tackling that 2nd half in a hurry.
I found it unwelcome a suggestion that I needed to cut a speech at the end. The speech was the whole purpose of the play. It's a resignation from everything the main character wanted. It was how I felt and what I'd like out of a parody where, at some point, I might have, I don't know, SOMETHING to say. But then again, I need to SMOOTH OUT that 2nd half. The first half has life. The 2nd half has pain. It has names of people I don't respect in crosshairs who are just there to be on stage and be the focus of contempt. There is nothing funny about them.
So these names will be interspersed through the script, introduced and perhaps disappearing as quickly as they did in the hastily written 2nd half where they seem thrown in because I had no way of naturally showing why they belong on the stage as characters in the first place. Hence the challenge.
I don't need to be told I can do better by any of you. I already know it. I'm aware, like Skynet.
The other thing is that when the gang was reading along, and guffawing loudly to many things that I can't believe I pulled off as being funny, I heard a few "oh my gods" and surprised statements that I, Paul, would write what they're reading.
I was incredibly grateful for the laughs. I was laughing along because they were laughing. I was shocked they were laughing. Score.
Now, I am a temperamental and incredibly moody person. I have low self esteem yet am possessive of who I am and I refuse to change for anyone. Wow. So, I didn't quite get the shock. I didn't set out to shock them. One person said, "I can't believe our Paul wrote that."
Hey, ANYONE can write that. It's just WORDS and I put them together in order and you read them. I would hope that despite the preceding paragraph, I am not a bad person. I don't drink, smoke, do drugs, try not to purchase products from companies that actively denigrate their employees with terrible conditions, rob/steal from friends or strangers, willingly/knowingly break the law...why can't I write that?
Anyone in that room who has snorted cocaine or shoplifted should shut the fuck up. I can write from the point of view of terrible people. It's not in me to say or do the things the fictional characters in my poorly written script do. I just came up with it. I thought about what would be funny, and I thought about how someone semi-decent might naturally respond, and so on. There might be a newtonion physic at what causes this between the fictional characters. They wants something, they want it from each other, and the dominoes fall from there. I wrote it.
Why are you shocked?
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